Mountains and Islands

They're worried in Fargo that the river will top out over the dikes.  Forty one feet.  Now those are some tall lesbians!  What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who lives in Fargo? Bob.  Oh come on.  You're laughing.  Seriously though, doesn't that water look cold?  My heart goes out to those folks.   Ron and I hit our favorite sushi place last night to celebrate me hitting the half century mark. It's been over a year since we've been there.  Same surly sushi chef, same ono food.  They carry a beer from Okinawa called Orion.  Good suds. I've just turned 50 while living in the 50th state in it's 50th aniversary year.  I will travel to Alaska this summer which is the 49th state, but which became a state the same year as Hawaii, so is also celebrating it's 50 anniversary as a member of the union.  Is that some kind of karmic convergence or what? At work Thursday, my co-worker brought in a batch of her soon-to-be-famous butter mochi.  It's made ...

It still raining. Really, this sucks.   Hmmmm.... What's new?  Right now, I'm sipping a nice Spanish tempranillo which I opened with, of all things, a twist of the wrist.  Yes, screw tops are growing in popularity and are no longer for the cheapest, crappiest of wines.  This one's a 2005 Riscal.  It's light, as tempranillos are want to be, fruit up front but not over-the-top, a touch of pepper and a smooth, slightly tannic finish.  I'm enjoying it.  Perfect with Spaghetti.   Lucy is curled up in the corner of the couch.  Mr. Sox just came in, soaked, water beading up on his back.  Now, he's washing his face.  The little ones are off somewhere, napping, or snacking.  Hoppsy is here, in a ball on her favorite, cushy living room bed, licking her paw.  Doc is outside, where it's cooler, listening for evil invaders.  Ron is in the tub.  Abner ran into the bathroom when he heard the water running, thinking the tub occupant was me.  He likes Ron alright, but he l-o...

Ron had a physical several weeks ago and was given a piece of paper to submit to a lab for a blood test.  We went together yesterday, with plans for him to have blood drawn and for us to then go pig out at Ken's Pancake House.  He gets up at 3:30 a.m. to work, so to stay awake, he drank a cup of coffee.  The rules said that was OK.  BLACK coffee.  Unfortunately, he added creamer.  Even non-dairy creamer, they say, will screw up the results.  So, they turned him away to try again another day.  Not drinking any beer at all after 8:00 p.m. was so hard for him this time that I don't know when I'll get him to do it again any time soon.  Plus, I think he's worried about the cholesterol results, figuring he will be forced to give up his woeful eating habits.  So, in his mind, no results means no problem.  I'll keep on it.  It's gotta be done. We ate at Ken's anyway, a place that's always pretty OK and from which nobody ever leaves hungry.  It was the first time...

This afternoon, a group of agriculture students from UH Hilo came in to tour the winery, after which those who were over 21 lined up to taste the wine.  These were fun kids, interested, funny, charming.  The tall one at the end asked me if I'd seen the movie Sideways .  "Sure," I said. "And I've eaten at The Hitching Post several times." "No way!" he said, laughing. "Really?" "And," I added, "sometimes I even drink Merlot." "Ah hahahahahahahahhahahaha ...."  He thought that was hilarious.  It's nice to know I'm still hip enough to relate to the early 20s set.  This group was the most attentive I'd had in weeks.  They asked lots of questions, and laughed at all my jokes.  College students are a blast. Our 2007 Pinot Noir is brewing.  OK, it's aging, out of the oak already and into the bottle. My humble opinion is that it should go back into the barrel for several months more.  Today, I ...

Top o' the marnin ' to ya, lads and lassies.  Happy St. Patrick's day.  St. Patrick.  It's a bit odd really, that St. Paddy , the patron saint of Ireland, was actually a Welshman.  Odd, but not so weird, as we're all Irish in spirit, especially on March 17, and the Irish are such a welcoming lot.   Don't you just love W ikipedia?   Wiki, as in wikiwiki , the Hawaiian word for hurry up, or fast.  Not to be confused with hele on, which means let's go. Wiki wiki wacky woo! I don't know what that means.  I just like saying it. I've gotta dig up something green to wear to work tomorrow.  Even in Hawaii, everyone's Irish. Places actually serve corn beef, cabbage and green beer.  I actually am Irish.  Authentically and unapologetically.  Of course, I'm more Irish on St. Paddy's day.  I'm also Scottish, which is almost Irish.  Scotch Irish, or Scots Irish, which is really Scottish.  They were Scots who emigrated to America from Ireland. ...

For those of you who have not seen the uncut version of the Jon Stewart vs. Jim Cramer feud, it's enlightening.  My only contention with Stewart is his support of the "loser" homeowners who got themselves into this pickle.  I agree that most are not losers, as Rick Santelli if CNBC claimed, but hard working Americans who got caught up in the scam of the century.  They're victims.  Still, plenty of people submitted fraudulent loan applications.  Some lied about their incomes.  Others went so far as to lie about having a job.  Of course, in the good old days, a person couldn't get away with that.  The financial institutions actually checked up on you, contacting your employer and requiring that you provide a W2 statement.  Still, it doesn't take a PhD in finance to know that if you make $50k/year, you cannot afford a half a million dollar house.  Even so, Stewart is 99.9 percent right here.  It's not really about Cramer.  He's just representative of th...

There's big controversy over Hawaii this week, and the focus of these verbal fisticuffs is, of all places, New York City. Saturday Night Live aired a hilarious skit last weekend that hit a little too close to home for our oh-so politically correct lieutenant governor, Duke Aiona . He found it insulting to the Hawaiian people and culture and plans to spend his time writing a letter to Lauren Michaels telling him so. Guess there's not really much for a lieutenant governor to do around here. Sounds like my kind of job. Most people here thought it was funny. As Bruddah Brad pointed out on KHBC Radio yesterday morning, it was no different than much of the sarcastic, self-deprecating humor of local comedians making fun of locals and tourists alike. Sure, it was over-the-top, but there were several grains of truth there, about the struggles and frustrations of working in the tourist industry in a place where the cost of living is through the roof. Duke's planning to run...

I am fighting a cold and while I don't feel great, I think I'm winning the battle, keeping the crud at bay.  It's still raining.  Twenty-seven straight days or something like that.   Did you know Bargie is 50?  All my friends had them, but not me.  I had a Tammy doll.  She was bigger, with flatter feet to fit into sneakers (not molded to fit a miniature version of a 4" pump) and a more athletic build.  I also had a blue Tonka Truck (Tammy's ride) and Lincoln Logs (her house), an Etch-a-Sketch (not for Tammy at all) and lots of games and piles of stuffed animals, but no Barbie.  Never wanted one.  Wasn't the least bit interested.  A fuzzy, talking, gay lion (his name was Larry) seemed more real to me.  I always wanted Operation - "take out wrenched ankle" - but never got it.  Friends had it though, so I got to play a lot. Alrighty then.  Did I mention that it's been raining?  A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Right arm.  Farm out.  Dig it.  Peac...

Yesterday my friend/co-worker Kathie and I went to the Imiloa Astronomy Center in Hilo.  We saw the production Mauna Kea, Between Earth to Sky .  Pretty cool.  Imiloa is good fun and always educational.  The planetarium is small but cozy, with chairs that recline all the way back so you can see the entire sky.  Right now, their doing a laser light show of some sort on Friday nights, featuring U2 as the soundtrack.  I'd like to check that out.  The grounds at Imiloa are beautiful, a botanical garden featuring native and canoe plants, all labeled.  We opted out of a cruise through the foliage, since we were almost entirely drenched just running from the front door to the car.  Hilo had received over eight inches of rain as of 10:30 last night.  That total was the accumulation since midnight the night before.  Lunch got us wet again, from the car to the restaurant.  Funny.  We both own big umbrellas and raincoats, tucked safely away at home or in other vehicles.  Reuben's Mexican...

Ah, so much fun to watch our net worth shrink daily.  It is satisfying to know that AIG will live another day to lose more of our money.  I don't think anyone currently serving in national government ever took a basic accounting class.  There's this concept called a sunk cost.  As humans, we have this natural tendency, once we've put a lot of money or time or effort into something, to want to stick with it even if it's a losing proposition.  Accountants would say that's counterproductive.  Any time or money you've already put into something is sunk.  It's gone - adios, bye bye - and therefore should not be considered in decisions about the future of the project or investment.  So, in situations when the benefit or profitability from an expense is unlikely to materialize, the prudent thing to do is to cut your losses, let whatever it is go and start from scratch.  Obviously, neither our Secretary of the Treasury nor our Federal Reserve Chairman have taken Ac...

I just have one word.  Metabolism.  I know that with mine, when the great famine comes, I will survive.  In the words of that interminably skinny Forrest Gump , that's all I have to say about that. Allergy doc says that all the things I'm allergic to - the local grasses, mold, etc - are just swirling around everywhere outside and that's why I'm perpetually reactive, loaded with junk and trying to clear it.  Sounds pleasant, doesn't it?  That's another trouble with  endless summer.  Everything just keeps growing.  They gave me some new, heavy duty, turbocharged nasal spray.   Yowza .  Harsh. Tastes nasty.  Bores through like a diamond head drill bit in a coal mine.  Stuff works, though.   Checked out a new sandwich joint downtown yesterday called, "The Planet Cafe."  I had a grilled portobello -provolone sandwich.  Pretty good.  Small, not too busy.  Don't know if they'll make it. There's also a new steakhouse in Kea'au .  It's the t...

Friday afternoon had us making a road drip to Honoka'a , which I always enjoy.  Road trips are limited here, as you might imagine.  You can circumnavigate the island, of course, which takes about six, maybe seven hours.  Or you can go in a single direction and back, the longest stretch for about three hours.  Once you've done that a few times, you've done it and that's that. Except for the occasion mongoose crossing the road, there's not much variation. The island doesn't change much either, from season to season.  Oh sure, it's lush and green on the east side, dry and barren except where humans have planted palm trees on the west.  I used to love the drive from Gunnison to Denver along Highway 50, then 285.  There was always wildlife: elk in a pasture, deer, maybe even some antelope, red tail hawks, eagles,  and a variety of other varmints.  It's the same road every time, but in winter, it's white.  In spring, the gradual transformation to green se...

Good Superbowl, yeah?  I was rooting for the Cardinals, of course, but it was a great game, down to the last seconds. Last Friday, a man came into the winery looking very much like Elton John.  It wasn't, of course.  If anyone would know the real Elton, it would be me.  A few of the customers did double takes and we heard them whispering, "Is it really him?"  Personally, I figured the guy for a flaming, overzealous fan.  He had the orange-tinged helmet hair, jewelry, earring (although in the opposite ear worn by the real EJ ) and even a slight gap between his front teeth, but no English accent and the wrong voice altogether.  Turns out he's worked as a body double for Elton for 17 years.  At least, that's what he claimed.  His stage name, as he referred to it, was Eldon John and he had a few autographed photos of himself to share.  I have an autograph from the real Elton, so some chicken scratches from an impostor did not interest me much.  My co-workers dug it, ...

Sing the following to the tune of the original Spider Man theme song: Spider poo, spider poo, always cleaning up spider poo, Round and brown, nasty blotch, emanates from a spider's crotch, Who knows, what's in the spider poo, man, digested bugs and goo, man, clean up the spider POOOOOOOO! Sorry I have no photos of the poo.  I always think, "Duh.  Shoulda grabbed the camera," after I clean it off the table and chairs on the lanai.  As you can see from this photo, Abby is unconcerned with spider poo.  It's been a big week at the vet.  Monday, the babies all got snipped.  You'd never know it.  The next day, they were running around like maniacs, like it never happened.  Even Winnie.  She's got a tiny incision on her shaved tummy.  Her other stitches are "hidden" as the vet says, and will dissolve.  I do keep an eye on it to make sure she keeps it dry and doesn't start licking it incessantly. So far, all is well.   And speaking of poo, these kitt...

You may think it's crazy that someone plunking down three grand per semester to attend a far away creative writing program would need to fork over another $65 for local workshop, but that's what I did today.  I've hit a creative dry patch lately, so needed a quick shot of inspiration. I also wanted to see how such workshops are taught, with thoughts toward one day teaching them. It was great fun and I plan to shamelessly steal some of this material to use one day as an instructor. On both fronts, the day was worth while.  The instructor is a well regarded local writer named Tom Peek.   He's got a very easy, comfortable instructional style, filling the day with worthwhile exercises proven to get the pen moving.  The workshop was entitled, Tapping Your Right Brain and it did just that.   The class was the last ever to be held in the Old Japanese Schoolhouse, the same place where I took ukulele lessons.  The property is being sold by the Volcano Arts Center .  There are tw...

It was hard to be in a bad mood today.  New president.  New direction for the country.  History was made and hope restored.  It's exciting! Yesterday, I read a column by Thomas Friedman imploring us to refocus our energies in education toward science and math in our schools.  Today, our new president touched on that same theme in his speech.  I couldn't agree more.  Add a finance piece to the math equation, so that the average American can understand loan documents, grasp the concept of accrued interest and the time value of money and get the fact that you really can't spend more than you make indefinitely.  That said, why stop at math and science? Without language arts, all our presidents in the future will speak more like George W. Bush than Barack Obama.   Strategery . Nucular .  I rest my case.  It is his study and love of words that enables Obama to communicate so effectively and so eloquently.  He does not speak to us in bits and bytes, nor does he invoke the Pythag...

I heard a great joke the other day.  I'm Norwegian, of Norwegian descent anyway, a.k.a. Norwegian-American, so I feel I am, if not totally qualified, at least absolved of all guilt in telling this joke: Why do Norwegians cook with so much milk? To add color and spice to their food. If you ever ate my grandmother's cooking, you would be howling with laughter at that one.   The pooches and I encountered a most curious creature on our walk the other day.  At first glance, it looked like a stick.  A burnt stick, curved like a piece of charred drift wood, right there on road.  The dogs completely ignored it, while I stooped to take a closer look.  It wasn't wood at all, but a chameleon , turned almost completely black to blend in with the asphalt.  Now, I'm sure this method of defense works well in the rainforest .  It certainly worked with my dogs.  The little critter had no color (or is black considered all color?) and no smell.  But I knew that wouldn't protect him f...

(Sing this to the tune of Purple Haze) Crater haze, all in my yard, Lately fumes, we're suckin ' hard, Either vog , or rain galore, ' Scuse me, while I choke some more.... (Insert raging ukulele interlude here) I've decide to change Pippie's name to Alvin.  I think.  He is always in trouble, with a propensity for climbing up my legs, whether or not I'm wearing long pants.  So Alvin seems to suit him better, even though he's not a chipmunk.  Al- vin ! Work sucks.  Yesterday we were actually very busy, but we are so short staffed that it was just two of us scrambling all afternoon without a moment to breath.  My co-worker tells me that on Tuesday we had three small tour groups descend upon the place within a half hour's time and again, with only two people working, it was impossible.  So other carloads of people who were unlucky enough to come at the same time simply left.  She said six people walked out.  We once prided ourselves on our presentations - ...

A belated Happy 2009 to you all! We escaped the rain for a couple of hours today, trekking to Kalapana to see where the lava is currently entering the ocean.  It's pretty cool, though you can't see orange until after nightfall.  The plume is impressive and the 3/4 mile hike over rock is only a little tricky.  It's all pahoehoe lava there, looking like solidified black cake batter.  Other flows aren't so easy to navigate, namely a'a lava, which is rough and clumpy.  It's name is easy to remember,  because you can imagine walking over it with bare feet and screaming "A'a!"  There was a little sun down Kalapana way, with whispy clouds and soft trade winds keeping the hike very cool and comfy indeed.  It was the first sun we've seen in a couple of weeks and I could feel the vitamin D being sucked up by my bones, like a dry sponge dropped into a swimming pool.   There was a keiki noni plant poking right out of the fresh lava, so I shot its picture. ...

All of the Hawaii babies want to wish you a cuddly kitty Christmas and a furry, purry new year!