Sulfur daze and sore gams

(Sing this to the tune of Purple Haze)

Crater haze, all in my yard,

Lately fumes, we're suckin' hard,

Either vog, or rain galore,

'Scuse me, while I choke some more....

(Insert raging ukulele interlude here)

I've decide to change Pippie's name to Alvin. I think. He is always in trouble, with a propensity for climbing up my legs, whether or not I'm wearing long pants. So Alvin seems to suit him better, even though he's not a chipmunk. Al-vin!

Work sucks. Yesterday we were actually very busy, but we are so short staffed that it was just two of us scrambling all afternoon without a moment to breath. My co-worker tells me that on Tuesday we had three small tour groups descend upon the place within a half hour's time and again, with only two people working, it was impossible. So other carloads of people who were unlucky enough to come at the same time simply left. She said six people walked out. We once prided ourselves on our presentations - shows really - and gave people full explanations of how the wine was made. Now, we are so short staffed we don't have time, so it's quick and dirty. The owner will not allow us to hire. He is rumored to have said, "If they walk out, they walk out." It's one thing to work your tail off and feel good about the day. It's quite another to do it knowing that customers are being short changed and you will get nothing in reward for your efforts other than the privilege of coming back tomorrow to exhaust yourself again. I suspect the winery will survive this recession and will go on to do some fun, interesting things. But I also suspect it will take longer than I have the patience to wait and longer than my tired feet and legs can hold out. So, I'm actively combing the want ads for a part time desk job. The veins in my legs are telling me it's time.

I thought it was only Mr. Sox who had escalated his spraying since the babies arrived. Then yesterday, my angelic Abby, who has until now seemed mostly unperturbed by their presence, backed up against a tarp (outside, luckily) and let out a stream that would alleviate any drought in the southwest. Who knew cats could pee horizontally? It's really quite something, the way it defies gravity. I immediately did my best to clean off the tarp. It's time for drastic action, but I don't know what that should be. I've heard that a product called Feliway works by emitting calming, pleasurable pheromones that make cats feel peaceful and content and want to take up macrame. I'll report back on that.

Gotta go to work. Another day, another dollar. Literally.

A hui hou. Aloha!

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Fruity booty

It was a long drive from Glenwood to the northern tip of the island -- three hours -- so for sustenance, we stopped at Baker Tom's for malasadas on the way. My pal Kathy and I were headed to Kapa'au for a hike, one we'd read about in the local newspaper. The couple who run Baker Tom's (not sure if the husband is actually Tom or not) are delightful, with enduring stamina. They're as old as radio, yet they're always on duty, ready to serve behind the counter, as they have for many years, frying, baking, brewing and smiling, there in Papaikou , gateway to the Hamakua Coast. The malasadas are enormous, cheap and delicious, the coffee OK, the tourists all happy to have discovered this place, buzzing with sugar and caffeine. They make a killer pumpkin cheesecake at Baker Tom's, too. It's always a pleasant stop. Ahapua'a . It's a Hawaiian land division, usually a strip or wedge, stretching from mountain to sea. Hawaiians lived in villages wit

Born and bred

The creature stared at me, wide-eyed through the florescent glare, Saran Wrap stretched tight across its broad back. Alone in the seafood cooler, he was the only one of his kind, there among the farmed, color-added Atlantic salmon and mud-flavored tilapia, perched on a blue foam tray, legs tucked 'round him like a comfy kitten. He didn't blink. He was dead, red, cooked and chilled, ready to eat. Such a find is rare in the City Market fish department in Gunnison, Colorado. What if nobody takes him home? I thought. This beautiful animal will have died needlessly, ripped from his home, family and friends (Dory, Nemo, Crush and Gill?) only to be tossed in the trash when his expiration date came and went. I lifted him for closer inspection, checked that date, felt the heft of him, scanned his surface for cracks and blemishes. The creature was perfect. I lowered him back into the cooler, nodded farewell, turned to walk away, took one step, and stopped. Shoppers strolled past, stud

On Tennis and Writing and Being Too Nice

I've recently been recruited to play tennis for a local 4.0 ladies tennis league team, referred to as either "Team Debbie" for the nice woman who manages us, or "Have Fun," which is our pre-match chant. We're still looking for a proper name. But we do have fun, despite getting creamed most outings. Last Saturday, we played in the Edith Kanakaole Tennis Stadium in Hilo. Good thing, too, since outside it was pouring, complete with thunder and lightning. It's a substantial structure, covered, yet open all around, most famous for hosting the annual Merrie Monarch Hula Festival in April. It was about 85 degrees outside and 100 percent humidity, air so thick it took three sucks of my albuterol inhaler just to breath. Several of us arrived early to warm up, but after twenty minutes' steady rallying with my teammate, Keiko, the human backboard, I was drenched. I played doubles with a nice, extremely fit and excellent ground-stroker named Cynthia from Pahoa.

Mountains and Islands

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