Mountains and Islands

I just have one word.  Metabolism.  I know that with mine, when the great famine comes, I will survive.  In the words of that interminably skinny Forrest Gump , that's all I have to say about that. Allergy doc says that all the things I'm allergic to - the local grasses, mold, etc - are just swirling around everywhere outside and that's why I'm perpetually reactive, loaded with junk and trying to clear it.  Sounds pleasant, doesn't it?  That's another trouble with  endless summer.  Everything just keeps growing.  They gave me some new, heavy duty, turbocharged nasal spray.   Yowza .  Harsh. Tastes nasty.  Bores through like a diamond head drill bit in a coal mine.  Stuff works, though.   Checked out a new sandwich joint downtown yesterday called, "The Planet Cafe."  I had a grilled portobello -provolone sandwich.  Pretty good.  Small, not too busy.  Don't know if they'll make it. There's also a new steakhouse in Kea'au .  It's the t...

Friday afternoon had us making a road drip to Honoka'a , which I always enjoy.  Road trips are limited here, as you might imagine.  You can circumnavigate the island, of course, which takes about six, maybe seven hours.  Or you can go in a single direction and back, the longest stretch for about three hours.  Once you've done that a few times, you've done it and that's that. Except for the occasion mongoose crossing the road, there's not much variation. The island doesn't change much either, from season to season.  Oh sure, it's lush and green on the east side, dry and barren except where humans have planted palm trees on the west.  I used to love the drive from Gunnison to Denver along Highway 50, then 285.  There was always wildlife: elk in a pasture, deer, maybe even some antelope, red tail hawks, eagles,  and a variety of other varmints.  It's the same road every time, but in winter, it's white.  In spring, the gradual transformation to green se...

Good Superbowl, yeah?  I was rooting for the Cardinals, of course, but it was a great game, down to the last seconds. Last Friday, a man came into the winery looking very much like Elton John.  It wasn't, of course.  If anyone would know the real Elton, it would be me.  A few of the customers did double takes and we heard them whispering, "Is it really him?"  Personally, I figured the guy for a flaming, overzealous fan.  He had the orange-tinged helmet hair, jewelry, earring (although in the opposite ear worn by the real EJ ) and even a slight gap between his front teeth, but no English accent and the wrong voice altogether.  Turns out he's worked as a body double for Elton for 17 years.  At least, that's what he claimed.  His stage name, as he referred to it, was Eldon John and he had a few autographed photos of himself to share.  I have an autograph from the real Elton, so some chicken scratches from an impostor did not interest me much.  My co-workers dug it, ...

Sing the following to the tune of the original Spider Man theme song: Spider poo, spider poo, always cleaning up spider poo, Round and brown, nasty blotch, emanates from a spider's crotch, Who knows, what's in the spider poo, man, digested bugs and goo, man, clean up the spider POOOOOOOO! Sorry I have no photos of the poo.  I always think, "Duh.  Shoulda grabbed the camera," after I clean it off the table and chairs on the lanai.  As you can see from this photo, Abby is unconcerned with spider poo.  It's been a big week at the vet.  Monday, the babies all got snipped.  You'd never know it.  The next day, they were running around like maniacs, like it never happened.  Even Winnie.  She's got a tiny incision on her shaved tummy.  Her other stitches are "hidden" as the vet says, and will dissolve.  I do keep an eye on it to make sure she keeps it dry and doesn't start licking it incessantly. So far, all is well.   And speaking of poo, these kitt...

You may think it's crazy that someone plunking down three grand per semester to attend a far away creative writing program would need to fork over another $65 for local workshop, but that's what I did today.  I've hit a creative dry patch lately, so needed a quick shot of inspiration. I also wanted to see how such workshops are taught, with thoughts toward one day teaching them. It was great fun and I plan to shamelessly steal some of this material to use one day as an instructor. On both fronts, the day was worth while.  The instructor is a well regarded local writer named Tom Peek.   He's got a very easy, comfortable instructional style, filling the day with worthwhile exercises proven to get the pen moving.  The workshop was entitled, Tapping Your Right Brain and it did just that.   The class was the last ever to be held in the Old Japanese Schoolhouse, the same place where I took ukulele lessons.  The property is being sold by the Volcano Arts Center .  There are tw...

It was hard to be in a bad mood today.  New president.  New direction for the country.  History was made and hope restored.  It's exciting! Yesterday, I read a column by Thomas Friedman imploring us to refocus our energies in education toward science and math in our schools.  Today, our new president touched on that same theme in his speech.  I couldn't agree more.  Add a finance piece to the math equation, so that the average American can understand loan documents, grasp the concept of accrued interest and the time value of money and get the fact that you really can't spend more than you make indefinitely.  That said, why stop at math and science? Without language arts, all our presidents in the future will speak more like George W. Bush than Barack Obama.   Strategery . Nucular .  I rest my case.  It is his study and love of words that enables Obama to communicate so effectively and so eloquently.  He does not speak to us in bits and bytes, nor does he invoke the Pythag...

I heard a great joke the other day.  I'm Norwegian, of Norwegian descent anyway, a.k.a. Norwegian-American, so I feel I am, if not totally qualified, at least absolved of all guilt in telling this joke: Why do Norwegians cook with so much milk? To add color and spice to their food. If you ever ate my grandmother's cooking, you would be howling with laughter at that one.   The pooches and I encountered a most curious creature on our walk the other day.  At first glance, it looked like a stick.  A burnt stick, curved like a piece of charred drift wood, right there on road.  The dogs completely ignored it, while I stooped to take a closer look.  It wasn't wood at all, but a chameleon , turned almost completely black to blend in with the asphalt.  Now, I'm sure this method of defense works well in the rainforest .  It certainly worked with my dogs.  The little critter had no color (or is black considered all color?) and no smell.  But I knew that wouldn't protect him f...

(Sing this to the tune of Purple Haze) Crater haze, all in my yard, Lately fumes, we're suckin ' hard, Either vog , or rain galore, ' Scuse me, while I choke some more.... (Insert raging ukulele interlude here) I've decide to change Pippie's name to Alvin.  I think.  He is always in trouble, with a propensity for climbing up my legs, whether or not I'm wearing long pants.  So Alvin seems to suit him better, even though he's not a chipmunk.  Al- vin ! Work sucks.  Yesterday we were actually very busy, but we are so short staffed that it was just two of us scrambling all afternoon without a moment to breath.  My co-worker tells me that on Tuesday we had three small tour groups descend upon the place within a half hour's time and again, with only two people working, it was impossible.  So other carloads of people who were unlucky enough to come at the same time simply left.  She said six people walked out.  We once prided ourselves on our presentations - ...

A belated Happy 2009 to you all! We escaped the rain for a couple of hours today, trekking to Kalapana to see where the lava is currently entering the ocean.  It's pretty cool, though you can't see orange until after nightfall.  The plume is impressive and the 3/4 mile hike over rock is only a little tricky.  It's all pahoehoe lava there, looking like solidified black cake batter.  Other flows aren't so easy to navigate, namely a'a lava, which is rough and clumpy.  It's name is easy to remember,  because you can imagine walking over it with bare feet and screaming "A'a!"  There was a little sun down Kalapana way, with whispy clouds and soft trade winds keeping the hike very cool and comfy indeed.  It was the first sun we've seen in a couple of weeks and I could feel the vitamin D being sucked up by my bones, like a dry sponge dropped into a swimming pool.   There was a keiki noni plant poking right out of the fresh lava, so I shot its picture. ...

All of the Hawaii babies want to wish you a cuddly kitty Christmas and a furry, purry new year!

We had a scare with our Hoppsy last night.  She was in obvious pain, so sore she could not lie down.  She would try, move her feet an inch in that direction, then stand back up.  She even yelped when I lightly rubbed her tummy.  Not good.  This seemed to be something more than just arthritis flaring up, so I called the emergency number for the vet.  He listened to my description of her symptoms.  I had already given her some doggy pain medicine, which he said was good.  He advised adding a sedative to relax her muscles even more.  I didn't have any prescription stuff left, so I gave her the herbal ones.  It's a product called Mellow-Out by Oxyfresh and is the only herbal calmer I've used that works.  It's not as effective as Valium of course, but combined with the Metacam it did the trick for the night and got her to stop shaking and lie down.  I was worried that it was something internal.  I think the vet was confident that she was not suffering from abdominal torsi...

Today was slow at the winery.  Really slow.  Monday was slower.  In fact, while Monday was not the slowest day ever, it was the slowest recently.  So we find ourselves comparing all others to it.   "Pretty slow today," I say as we closed up shop this afternoon. "Not as slow as Monday," says Kathie.   "True dat ," I say. Yesterday, we had a couple in from Oklahoma who had no idea where they were. "Where are you two staying here on the island?" I ask. " Hokowaila ? Wokahola ?..." husband tries.  "It's way at the south end of the island." I pause to think. " Waikaloa ?" I ask. "That's it!" he says. "Um, that's the north end of the island." "OK," he says. Later, wife is ready to check out.  She has purchased a few souvenirs .   "Would you like a map?" I ask. "I'm not so good at reading maps," she says. What I surprise, I think. "It's free, "...

My neighbor John delivers my paper almost every morning.  He usually walks, but occasionally he drives his riding lawnmower.  Now that gas prices have gone down, he's driving more.  John's been known to drive the little Deere all over the neighborhood.  He suffered a stroke many years ago and walks with a metal brace on his right leg.  His right arm is out of commission and there's a decided droop to his smile.  Still, he gets around pretty well. It's nice that he brings the paper and we usually chat for a moment or two about the rain or his new fan belt or whatever.  Two days ago, he puttered up the driveway and presented me with both the Tribune-Herald and one of those enormous cans of Almond Roca .  Now, for most people, this would be a month's supply.  Maybe several months.  My grandmother could make such a large quantity last an entire year.  She savored one piece in several days, saving them to share with company.  I'm thinking this one will be empty by we...

Bye bye sweet Crawford, so loyal and brave, always keeping a watchful eye on mommy.  Bossy, cheerful, following along, no need for a leash, bringing us all home.  May heaven be filled with all the treats you could want, prairie dogs to chase, cows to round up and petties from grandpa.  He'll take you for rides in his truck.  Here on earth, my heart is broken.  I love and miss you.  You'll always be my girl. 

Now, if you are the type of person who could just abandon three faces like this, please log off of my blog. How can you not love them? These three are such a joy.  They cheer me up when I'm feelin' low, you know? We will enjoy our Thanksgiving dinner a day early for two reasons.  One is because I will be working tomorrow.  The second is so that Crawford can enjoy turkey for a few days.  She's struggling.  Not in pain, but beginning to show signs of additional complications.  She's almost completely incontinent, and while she can't really hold stuff in anymore, she has trouble pushing it out, too.  She has had two seizures this week and is beginning to stumble just occasionally with her front legs.  Her back legs are long gone.  I can tell she's frustrated.  She's telling me she's ready.  Actually, she's been telling me for some time, but I have selfishly wanted to keep her here with me.  She's my girl.  So we've arbitrarily chosen Saturday fo...

High drama at the winery.  I ran into a coworker today who told me the other tasting room employee placed on temporary layoff (besides me) was given the permanent heave ho over the weekend.  She wasn't taking the layoff well and despite numerous attempts to convince her it was temporary and in no way a reflection on her performance, she freaked.  Initially, she seemed to understand the circumstances .  As time went on, her discontent erupted into loud and inappropriate comments  - sometimes in front of customers - taking her frustration out on a fellow employee, a manager, the world.  Wow.  She's young and I suspect she's never been through tough times before.  Personally, my layoff was not the least bit unsettling since I volunteered.  Others need the work.  I don't.  I've got writing and other stuff to do and will not starve or miss a mortgage payment if I don't work for a couple of months.  Lucky me. I had lunch Saturday with two good friends from California...

Harley Davidson Todd-Niederpruem (front), his brother Pip (Squeak-middle) and sister Winnie (back) all love their canine big sister Hopps.  Hoppsy loves them too. They look a little like her.  I think she thinks they're puppies.  She's a good mommy. Ah, but they grow up so fast. (Sniff) Missed my ukulele lesson tonight because I had to pick Ron up at the airport, coming from an abandoned root canal in Honolulu.  Turned out he didn't need one.  That's the good news. The bad is that he sprained his toe a few days ago, so had to hobble around, negotiating airports, hotel, etc.  Hopps has this bad habit of getting up as you try to step over her. That's how he injured it.  Last night and today I think he just drank beer and hung out in his room or the pool.  Of course, I'm the nimrod who scheduled his flight and could have had him back soon enough for me to make the lesson, but I forgot about it when confirming.  I'll just have to practice extra to catch up.  It ...

I was driving home from an abbreviated shift at work last night when I turned on the radio and heard Bob Dylan singing Everybody Must Get Stoned .  I was reminded of a placard I once saw at a Dairy Queen in Colorado that read, Everybody Must Get Coned .  So it occurred to me, there navigating through the misty darkness, that with a slight modification, this could be a great slogan for a number if different businesses.  Here's my list. Telecommunications company: Everybody must get phoned . Cutlery shop and knife sharpening services: Everybody must get honed . Credit Union: Everybody must get loaned . Brothel: Everybody must get moaned. Winery: Everybody must get Rhoned . Fitness Center: Everybody must get toned . Local planning commission: Everybody must get zoned . Bio-research company: Everybody must get cloned. Doggy daycare: Everybody must get boned. Manufacturer of modern, unmanned spy planes: Everybody must get droned . Reader of corny mottoes and slogans listed on a chees...

Don't name them.  Don't name them.  Don't name them..... Well, I'd bet that Harley, Winnie and Pip have nearly double in size since they arrived here at what is most likely their new home.  The big cats still aren't thrilled about them being here, but their becoming more patient with every encounter.  Of course, the tikes are still kept in their playpen when not being supervised by me.  They get braver by the day.  By the minute, really.  In fact, they are fearless.  I admire that in them.  They just go for the glory.  I would love to keep them all indoors, but my house is just too small for that.  With the exception of other cats occasionally wandering through the yard, it's pretty safe outside here.  The dogs help keep that foreigners to a minimum too, since they know the difference between their kitties and an alien visitor and bark enough the scare the pants off of any intruders.  My big cats never go to the road (except Mr. Sox) so no cars.  There are no pr...

It was a rough weekend.  My beloved Lucy developed acute blindness.  The vet was a bit perplexed Friday.  He prescribed an anti-inflammatory and antibiotics with the hope that her condition is caused either by an infection or pressure on her optic nerve.  We have an appointment Thursday with the clinic's new resident cat specialist to follow up.  Poor baby.  I must say though, it's amazing how well she gets around.  She has long been an outdoor cat, very independent, so keeping her cooped up inside in near impossible.  She came with the house, after all and lived outside her entire life before we came along.  She doesn't stray too far away and knows the turf better than we do, at ground level, so after one excruciating night trying to keep her in, we let her go.  She was gone for a few hours, then came home.  Lucy can still jump up onto the countertop where she eats, though she does give it a little extra umph and flies a little higher than needed.  It seems to be her way o...