I don't like hurricanes. I don't like the threat of hurricanes. I'm not keen on tropical storms, either. That's what they say Felicia will be when it finally comes a knockin.' Right now, however, she's classified as category four, which is no slight breeze. Felecia is approaching from the southeast, which means it will hit our island first. Now, if you look at a globe, you can see that the Hawaiian Islands, the most isolated archipelago on earth, is but a speck on the vast Pacific Ocean. You'd think the odds of us being hit by a hurricane are roughly the same as someone winning the Powerball lottery. The thing is, someone always eventually wins that lottery, even at a bajillion to one. So too do hurricanes, given enough shots at it, eventually hit these islands. The last big hit was Iniki, which nearly wiped Kauai off the planet We've had a few near misses since then. There are no hurricanes in Colorado. I'll take my chances with a nice blizzard or a crackling thunderstorm any day. Hurricanes suck. Went to the gym today. Wrote a ditty about it: The Peri-Menopausal Gym Rat's Rap
Yo to the gym, joggin' 'long the treadmill,
Keepin' it flat, not ready for a hill,
Crankin' up the tunes, Green Day through the buds,
Givin' up sweets and layin' off the suds,
Crunchin' flabby abs 'til they burn like toast,
Metab'lism slow like an uphill coast,
Bones turn to powder as estrogen wanes,
Crows feet deepening, tiny spider veins,
There's weight to bear and some vitamin D
in a bottle-ain't no sun shinin' down on me,
Need a kinda mantra, to keep me strong,
Or a silly ditty, like this here song.
OK so Kanye West has nothing to fear. Yet!
I think I need a job.
A hui hou. Alo-o-o-o-o-ohahahahahahaha!
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