I had a bit of a start the other day. It happened in the laundry room. I say this like it's some far-away wing of my vast mansion. It's a small offshoot from the kitchen. Stooped over the edge of my top loader, I gripped and tugged at wet sheets that were wrung tight and smashed against the sidewalls inside the washer's basin, listening to Jack Johnson in the background, wondering, "Where'd all the good people go?" just like Jack, relishing the mindlessness of my chore. Once the wad was free, I hurled it into the open dryer, slammed the door, set the timer and pushed the button. At first tumble, I heard a loud thud and wondered if the dryer, like all my other appliances, was about to expire. A few more bumps had me worried. You can see where this is going, right? I opened the door and our flew Harley, dazed. Poor baby! I scooped him up, checked him over, heard him purring like a Cummins diesel, decided he was fine and set him free. Crisis averted. I hadn't seen or heard him come into the room, let alone jump in. They can be stealthy that way, like B-2 Spirit bombers with whiskers. Kitties. They keep me on my toes. I thought I was being diligent, checking all cupboards with open doors before closing them, scanning the car after bringing in the groceries to be sure no felines had gone exploring through the interior. Looks like I've got to step it up a notch. The good news is that he's now afraid of the machine and darts away like a goosed Cheetah when it starts.
The creature stared at me, wide-eyed through the florescent glare, Saran Wrap stretched tight across its broad back. Alone in the seafood cooler, he was the only one of his kind, there among the farmed, color-added Atlantic salmon and mud-flavored tilapia, perched on a blue foam tray, legs tucked 'round him like a comfy kitten. He didn't blink. He was dead, red, cooked and chilled, ready to eat. Such a find is rare in the City Market fish department in Gunnison, Colorado. What if nobody takes him home? I thought. This beautiful animal will have died needlessly, ripped from his home, family and friends (Dory, Nemo, Crush and Gill?) only to be tossed in the trash when his expiration date came and went. I lifted him for closer inspection, checked that date, felt the heft of him, scanned his surface for cracks and blemishes. The creature was perfect. I lowered him back into the cooler, nodded farewell, turned to walk away, took one step, and stopped. Shoppers strolled past, stud...
Comments