Have I mentioned I have a toe-a-noma? OK I'll admit that would be an exaggeration. What I have is a funky toenail. It all started a couple of years ago when I bruised it running. After that, I somehow managed to stub it pretty badly once or twice. Then Doc, the wonder dog, stepped on it before it had the chance to heal. The end result was a toenail that rebelled. A year or so ago it began to grow funny. It separated from my toe, developing a very high, vertical ridge in the middle. It was as though two continents, in the form of the two sides of my toenail, collided and formed the Himalayas upon my largest left digit. It became thick and looked a little gnarly. All that trauma apparently made it susceptible to (yikes!) a fungus! Can you imagine? Fungus growing here, in the rain forest? On MY toe? Anywho, I finally broke down and went to see a foot doctor. He confirmed a mild fungal infection and said I had two options. One was to take an oral medication called Lamisil (That's the Registered Trademark name. Gotta say that. Old journalist's habits die hard). He said the drug is very effective, but can lead to liver damage. Hmmmmm..... let's see. I can live with a funky toenail hosting a non-life-threatening fungus or I can take a pill that will kill the fungus but may permanently damage my liver. Now, the last time I checked, the liver was considered a must-have organ. So let's see.... ugly toenail or damaged liver? Ugly toenail or damaged liver? Does anybody actually take this drug?He gave me a another option. There's a topical prescription treatment that's been proven quite effective and has no damaging side effects. That sounded like good news to me. The bad news is that it's new, there's no generic version and insurance doesn't cover it. (Insurance will, however, cover the stuff that messes with your liver. Go figure.) And there's worse news: it costs $200 for a tiny bottle of the stuff. So there I was again, pondering..... Two hundred dollars or an ugly toenail? Two hundred dollars or an ugly toenail? I'm not so vein as to damage my internal organs for the sake of pretty feet. I am, however, vein enough to fork over $200 bucks to do so. Actually, I've found the drug at half price in Canada. Not that I would ever order it from there. That would be illegal.
Today, I began cleaning the second half of my living-room/kitchen ceiling in preparation for painting it. I say living room/kitchen because it's really all one big room. Make that one small room. It's really hot up there, at the top of an eight foot ladder. There were spider webs. Spiders, too. Plenty of mold and mildew stains made the scrubbing arduous. (How's that for a GRE word?) Actually, I don't know what it was, because I don't really know the difference between mold and mildew. So it might have been mold. It might have been mildew. Let's just say it was mold and mildew so we're covered, 'kay? Now, it looks so clean and white it doesn't seem to need painting. I'll paint it anyway.
Yes, my life has become dominated by fungus in many forms. There's algae growing on the house and the driveway. I guess algae isn't technically fungus. Or is it? The battle of the mold and mildew is constant. The toenail has succumbed. Poor Crawford (that's her above) even had a case of ring worm a couple of months ago that required fungicidal ointment. We bought some locally grown mushrooms at Costco (again, registered trademark) yesterday. What will be next? When will it all end? Ah the madness!
What did the girl mushroom say to the boy mushroom? Gee you're a fun-gi!
A hui hou. Aloha!
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