Mountains and Islands

The following should be sung with enthusiasm to the tune of Gene Autry's Back in the Saddle: I'm back on the treadmill again, knowin ' I'll never be thin, Yet I trudge along the belt, hoping some day I'll be svelte , Back on the treadmill again.... Whoopie ty - yi -yo, cruisin ' kinda slow, back on the treadmill again.... Whoopie ty - yi - yay , don't have the guts to weigh, but I'm back on the treadmill again! Ron made himself a chicken quesadilla for lunch today. That got me thinking about something I saw on Good Morning America yesterday. Wolfgang Puck was on, demonstrating how to make that very thing: a quesadilla . Are we really that bereft of culinary skill in the household kitchens of America that we need a renowned chef to teach us to make quesadillas ? Is a quesadilla not simply a grilled cheese sandwich with tortillas substituted for bread? All these things ran through my mind as I watched and listened. " Zey are so ferry easy to mak...

Ding dong the coqui's dead, guys sprayed something on his head, ding dong the coqui frog is de -e-e- ead ! Yes, the coqui we had in the yard is now silent. He is no more. The coqui has ceased to be. He is pushing up the ginger. He is an ex- coqui . I wonder if, in time, the coqui will evolve, genetically realizing that his incessant, high-decibel chirping can get him killed as often as it gets him laid. He would then begin to develop a quieter chirp, in a range or wavelength that humans cannot hear and only female coquis can detect. (Of course, the lady coquis would still find the softer sound irresistibly sexy, for they will evolve, too.) When that happens, they will probably no longer be known as coquis . Without the CO- QUI , that name doesn't really work, does it? I'm sure the frog doesn't care. He's just trying to survive in this world, just like the rest of us. If he could just do it in a less-annoying way, we could all live happily ever after. And spe...

Today I blog about the vog , which came and went all day. I like the blog but hate the vog . That's all I have to say. Ah, but it didn't rain until the day was mostly pau . Yow! That was nice. We're experiencing what's known as Kona weather, a.k.a. Kona winds. Although, the term "winds" is a bit misleading. It's more like lack of wind. The air is still and muggy. The sulfuric gasses spewing from the current eruption aren't blown away. Instead, they settle over us, like forest-fire smoke. Today, I spent sweating while cleaning windows, washing the car and just sitting around watching football. OK. I wasn't sweating while watching football. I had already done my sweating by then. Anyway, go Broncos! Go Rockies. Here is a collection of photos from my recent two week trip to the mainland. We begin with images from In-and-Out Burger, including an unflattering self-portrait. This is what happens when you scrunch your face up while shooting yourself ...

Pebbles, Roxie and Bailey are keeping me company right now, while my friend Gail presides over her homeowners' association meeting. She's the president. That's life in the big city. Pebbles and Roxie are tortoise -shell calicos . Bailey is an ever- alert soft-coated wheaten . They live here in the pretty coastal town of Encinitas , Calif. Tonight is my last here on the mainland. I've just spent a long weekend with a very special group of people. I've learned over the years that really good friends don't come along all that often, or easily. True friends are rare. They are the individuals with whom you can truly be yourself and never worry whether they will continue to love you. You can act goofy or play the ukulele badly. You can be reflective or emotional or happy or sad and they'll always be right there with you. These are the people you worry about. They are the friends who feel your pain and with whom you want to share your own happiness and successes. ...

Photos! I promised photos, but still can't get the gosh darned technology to work for me. Gunfunnit! Gunnison is still here, thank goodness. It's changed a little, but very little. That's refreshing. I've heard there are prospective big changes on the horizon. They sound grand and even ominous. Some sound like good changes. Others, not so good. It still seems there is great interest and participation on the part of the citizenry here, so I believe the place is in pretty good hands. I've had a great time bopping around, catching up with friends in town. It is cold here, especially in the mornings. I don't mind really. That could be because I know I'm headed back to the tropics in a few days so I don't have to endure it for months on end. I have enjoyed the sun and the fall colors, but most of all I find it refreshing that all the fun, witty, intellegent, nice people I came to know and love here are not only still here but are still fun, witty, intellegent...

The first thing I noticed when I got out of the car in the driveway of my Colorado cabin was the smell. It's a lovely, sweet melancholy scent. Fall is in the air. I don't really know what sweet melancholy smells like, other than to say there's something about it that puts you on notice that winter is just around the corner. It's a smell that tells you summer is over and it's going to get darker and colder very soon. But for now, it's autumn and it's glorious. The grass is golden and the trees and bushes are ablaze with yellows and reds, the wind blowing leaves about like a flurry of butterflies. There is no fall smell in Hawaii. In fact, Hawaii has it's own special smell, of tradewinds and salt water, foliage and flowers and moistness. They are mostly nice smells to be sure, but the smell of fall in the Colorado mountains is especially wonderful. Unfortunately, a photo will have to wait, since this computer at the library does not have a slot for my cam...

It's funny the things you miss about a place. For me, there wasn't much to miss about Southern California when I left there, other than good friends (I know, that's huge), the weather and In-And-Out Burger. I definitely have not missed the smog. Yesterday, it was completely obscuring the San Gabriel Mountains from the San Fernando Valley. When I first moved to CA many moons ago, it was several months before I knew those mountains were even there. Then one day the wind blew, the air cleared and, as if by magic, they appeared. They really are beautiful. After visiting the dentist in Encino yesterday morning (and leaving him with more money than I can make at the winery in three months), I went on a one hour search for a double-double, fries and vanilla shake. I found it. Yay! Yummy! They really should probably rename the place. It should now be called In-And-wait just a little while-just a few more minutes-almost ready-Out Burger. It's not so fast as it used to be and muc...

What we have here today, is a failure to communicate . (This quote is attributed to either to Lyndon Johnson or that guy from Smokey and the Bandit.) I find that mind reading is a valuable skill for married people. Unfortunately, it's a skill I have yet to master fully. I do have occasional moments of glory, when the other half will refer to a thing or a location in the vaguest of terms and I actually know what he means. Today, however, was not one of those times. We were traveling to Hilo for some light shopping and to take some cash out at the ATM. "Take out a couple hundred," says Ron. We arrive at Safeway and walk through the door together. At this point, he blurts, "There's your thing." He does not point or nod in any particular direction. "My thing?" I ask. I look around. I see lots of things. He is immediately exasperated. I hear the big, 'why me?' sigh. "Right there," he points to the ATM, sounding not just a little irri...

Today was the big day; The Law School Admissions Test. I don't feel particularly good about it. It was intense. And when I finally returned home from my day in the exam room, I was thoroughly exhausted. Immediately after the test, I bopped on down to the Hilo Farmers' Market for some sustenance ; namely, two musubis and a Thai noodle bento . There are no picnic tables at the Hilo Market, so I perched my okole atop a very low, rock wall facing the bayfront sidewalk. There, I munched, sipped lilikoi -aide and watched people as they strolled by. It occurred to me then that there are lots of people on earth (or at least strolling through downtown Hilo ) who have very ugly feet. I must say that there are times when a stroll through Hilo Town makes Venice Beach in California seem like a bastion of normalcy. I saw one chubby young tattooed woman in a spaghetti strapped sundress wearing Uggs . Uggs are tall, fur-lined snow boots worn mostly as apres ski apparel. But there ...

I've been picking up shifts at the winery this week. One of my co-workers was, as they say, "let go." I actually feel pretty bad about it. I liked this co-worker, although it was clear that she had an awful lot going on in her life that was stressing her out, along with some health issues. With luck, she'll get well, resolve her issues and land on her feet. I really do hope so. Like I said, I like her. It's been good working, especially since it's been raining almost constantly all week. Yesterday, we had two young men visiting from Switzerland. Today, we had two young women. When I met the latter, I told them of the former. "We just had two gentlemen from your country visiting us yesterday," I commented to the women. "We know," said one of them. "We just met them last night." So two pairs of people, both from Switzerland, just met one another for the first time in Hawaii. Yes, it's a tiny, tiny world. The ukulele lessons are ...

Tuesday night was ukulele lesson night! Woo- hoo ! Am I a party animal or what? It really is pretty fun. The instructor, Wes Awana , is teaching us all the basic vamps. Those are three-chord intros common in Hawaiian music. We then apply them to songs. It's all I can do to make the chord changes at the proper time, let alone try to read the lyrics (which are mostly in Hawaiian) and sing along. It's a good challenge. The lessons are taught at the Old Japanese Schoolhouse in Volcano. I find I meet the coolest people when I'm out and about. The girl who sits next to me in class has an old koa wood Kamaka ukulele. Kamaka is a premier name in ukes . I know this because I aspire to become a good enough player to justify buying myself a Kamaka one day. The girl's dad gave it to her when she was six years old. She never learned to play. In fact, she never touched the thing. So, he took it back when he moved to the mainland. When he heard she was finally going to take lessons...

There are days here when I feel like I'm really growing to love this place. The greenery is lovely. The people are friendly. The food is good. The tradewinds refreshing and sweet. Then there are days when all I really want to do is go home. Today was one of the latter. I went to the University campus to scope out the classroom where my LSAT exam will be held. According to my instructions, I'm to go to Building K, room 122. Seemed easy enough. I checked it out on a map beforehand. There it was, Building K. Piece of cake. Not so. When I got there, I found that all the buildings look pretty much the same there. I also noticed the conspicuous absence of any signs outside or on the side of any buildings. Hmmmm ...... I finally asked. A nice professor-type pointed and told me, "Go to that plain, gray building just down those steps. There's no way you could know that," she smiled. Yes, at least people are friendly. When I found the building, I came immediately upon room...

Last week when my mom was visiting, I took her to the gym. I plopped her on the treadmill and made her sweat. While we were there, we encountered a tall, blonde haole girl, slender, cute, young and very stinky . Whew! This attractive young woman was rank. Mom noticed her first. She very subtly waved her hand in front of her nose and made a pee- eeew face when the girl wasn't looking. Then it was my turn. Yikes! Just being on the machine next to her made my eyes water. It was enough to take your breath away. Or at least enough to make you want to hold your breath. It must have something to do with her diet. Maybe she eats curried Limburger with garlic and anchovies on a regular basis or something. I've been in lots of gyms in my day, and ridden plenty of public busses , too. This girl is the hands-down winner for stinkiest human I've ever encountered. She wins for sharpest, most pungent, and the coveting title of worst stench EVER. She made giving a ride to One-Lung-Smel...

Mom flew the coop today. I think she had fun here at the hovel. She saw the local sights, did dishes and laundry and was darn good company. I love it when mom visits. Here she is on the lanai of our hotel room at Waikiki. Out of respect for the fact that she now abstains from drinking, I too spent the last 16 days on the wagon. You'd think I'd have lost a little weight doing that, but no-o-o-o-o-o-o. So tonight, I cracked open a bottle of dry rose from Spain, chilled to perfection. Very nice. Ron and I had big plans for the day after dropping mom off at the airport. We were going to come home, mow the lawn, wash the cars, power wash the driveway of tractor mud and finish the driveway gates I started building several months ago. But by the time we got home from Hilo Town, it was raining. Pouring, actually. So, we took a three hour nap. Again, very nice. About the only ambitious activity we could muster was to replace a bad light fixture on the lanai. Oh, and I wiped the floss f...

Tonight, it was cutthroat scrabble at it's scrappiest! With mom here, it's more fun and interesting. When Ron and I play, it's also fun, but we somehow seem limited to words like "cat" and "zoo." Of course, zoo is used a lot, since nobody seems to be able to come up with any other 'z' words. Except, of course, those brainiac kids in the National Spelling Bee. I hate those kids. Tonights word of entertainment turned out to be smeet . After our match, we were scrambling to spell out names to call each other. I found "loon" and "dud." Mom found "smeet." As in, "It's not vegetables, it'smeet!" Or something like that. On Tuesday, she tried to get away with ovu . She claimed it was singular for ovum. NOT! I do not have one ovu, nor do I have two. Ron is usually the one with the creative spelling. He, however, had the audacity to challenge one of my words the other night. I had spelled out coven , as in, ...

I picked all these flowers in the yard. Not bad, eh? It's been a nice week with mom here. Friday night, we went to see Hapa. They were, as always, fantastic. The warm up act, Keawe Trio, was also excellent. Skylark Rosetti, local famous DJ, was there to MC the event, which was a charity fundraiser for a local rural medical organization. Keawe Trio's lead singer had a very versatile voice, singing baritone cowboy songs and Hawaiian falsetto. He was also an accomplished guitarist. Sunday, we attended Malama Punalu'u, a ho'oloule'a, or festival, held to raise awareness and help save the area around Punalu'u Black Sand Beach in Ka'u, near South Point. The fest was held in Na'alehu, one of my favorite little towns here on the island. Skylark was there again, along with Kahikina, a.k.a. Tommy Ching, another famous DJ. There was food, music and crafts, including an authentic sailing canoe on display. My old acquaintance Keoni, the canoe builder, was there. He a...

Mom and I kicked around Hilo Town Monday. We spent time at the Farmers' Market, bought matching Crocs , then cruised on up to Rainbow Falls, which is right in town. It's a beautiful spot. There, we met a man named Alvin. He described himself as "82 years young" and was more fit than most 4o year olds I know. Alvin told us he was third generation American, with ancestors from Japan. My mom told him she was third generation American too, with ancestors in Norway. We chatted with Alvin awhile. Then, we told him we were headed to boiling pots and asked if he knew where it was. He said, "Follow me," then jumped into his green, '57 Chevy to lead the way. When we arrived at the parking lot, my mom laughed at the name of the place. While it is commonly known as Boiling Pots (so names because when the water's raging it looks like it's boiling), it's real name is Pe'epe'e Falls. My mom pointed, then pronounced, "Pee Pee Falls! I love th...

Mom is here! Yay! We spent three fun days on another rock, where she says it's kinda like Disneyland with palm trees. Actually, I think Disneyland has palm trees, but they're probably fake. Still, Disneyland can be a hoot. We visited the Arizona Memorial, Bishop Museum and Waikiki Aquarium. We also ate lots of really good food, listened to good music and even spent a little time in the water and on the beach. We managed to get lost pretty much daily at our own hotel, which was really, really big. There were penguins and turtles and flamingos and other animals one would not expect to see in Hawaii. They all live at the hotel. We saw hula dancers, a fire dancer and lots of wealthy tourists. We fit right in. Really. We did. As you can see from this photo, we had a nice ocean view. This was not planned, but it was appreciated. We had a Vietnamese cab driver named Mike, a self-described "boat person" who came here when he was 16 with his cousin. He basically told us his w...

Friday night was my first social gathering with the winery crew. They are a pretty fun lot. Not everyone was there, but many were. We were toasting La'akea , the guy who has worked there the longest of any but who is leaving next week to attend school full time. He's a very smart guy with a great sense of humor and probably the chattiest man I've ever met. He actually makes me seem quiet and reserved. I'm sure he will do well with school. He's a born academic. Saturday it continued to rain, so we vegged. Today, the sun came out and the wind whipped up, helping to dry things out. The strong breeze also kept the poochies cool. We didn't need the fans; just a few open windows. Ron and I alternated mowing sections of the lawn. I went to town to pick up $100 worth of overpriced groceries. I'm applying for yet another job for which I am under-qualified. Actually, the last one had me over qualified. This one is pie-in-the-sky and it's on another island, but wh...

Flossie has flopped. That was the most boring hurricane ever. It's windier and rainier on a typical winter day. I was really hoping for some excitement. I wanted to see things fly around. I wanted to hear incessant, relentless, pounding rain. I wanted the electricity to go out so we could huddle around flashlights and listen to the radio by battery power. I wasn't looking for complete and utter destruction. Just a little action. Instead, Flossie fizzled. The news media sent scores of reporters to cover the destruction. It reminded me of the "team coverage" they employ whenever it rains in L.A.: "We just spotted three drops falling into a puddle here on Sepulveda . Over to you, Jane." "Thanks, Bill. Here on La Cienega , the sidewalks are completely wet. People are actually slipping as they try to walk, which they never do here in L.A. Back to you in the studio, Colleen." So the coverage to me was actually pretty comical. One interview was of a loc...