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A dash of irony

A friend of mine went to the unemployment office in Hilo Friday morning to file her claim. It seems everyone's out of work these days. I have three friends here with whom I actually hang out on occasion, and of the four of us, three are on the skids. Of course, that could be a testament to the company I keep. Considering that I'm one of the three, however, it could also be a testament to the company they keep. Anyway, when she arrived, she found the office closed. That's right. The unemployment office has been furloughed on Fridays.

There is a great ad in the Help Wanted section of the Hilo Tribune-Herald this week for a Goat Herder. There was also one looking for fruit packers and another from a diner seeking dishwashers. There's the omnipresent local search for an astronomer with a PhD in Astrophysics and at least 10 years experience in black hole research. There's always that, what with all those big, bad-ass telescopes on our mountain. Otherwise, the pickings, as they say, are exiguous. (Look that up in your Funk and Wagnalls.) So to my mind, Goat Herder is the best opportunity out there. Ah, but here's the rub; you must have experience to qualify. When I read that, my mind was cast into shallow rumination (as it often is), to conjure an image of highly skilled yet unemployed goat herders by the score. They were scattered about the island, sitting, standing, whittling, humming Irish folk tunes, ready and waiting for their big break. I snapped out of my daydream and thought, "Shit. I knew I should have taken that goat herding elective in high school instead of Typing and Spanish. What a maroon! Que lastima!

A hui hou. Aloha!

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